Wednesday, May 13, 2015

The New Normal

It's been a year and a half since I last wrote on this blog. And, when I last wrote on this blog, I wrote this:

In a nutshell: so what if I'll end up submitting my book 9 months after I thought I would? What's 9 months in the whole of a lifetime? Even if it's a year late, what's 12 months? Nothing. Nada.

And I'm now comforted reading those lines, because I'm still not done with any of the projects I was working on when I last blogged. The article I mentioned? Can't even remember which one I was referring to back in Jan. 2014, but I definitely didn't finish it. However, I'm working on one now that's already been accepted. This is real, baby, and it's within a few hours (and a trip to an archive) of being done. The books? They're still there, unwritten. They're closer to done now, but not *that* close. But, it's not ridiculous to think I could submit them both in the fall. Only a few years off schedule, but I feel like my priorities are not out of whack anymore. The schedule doesn't matter. It really doesn't. It means "Nothing. Nada," like I told myself a long time ago.

And what did happen during that year and a half? Husband and I weathered the roughest patch of our marriage, and we celebrated our 10th anniversary. In fact, we celebrated so well that I'm now looking at the fruits of said celebration, our long-wanted second child, a beautiful son to grow up alongside our beautiful daughter. She is about to turn ten and had given up on having a sibling, and here he is showing us that we should all keep dreams alive.

So, now I'm off to write again. In fact, I started up again a few weeks ago, and it's felt great. The difference, I think, is in approaching writing time as an opportunity rather than a burden. Having tenure helps here, I think. Yes, I could really, really use the raise that comes with promotion to full. But, even without it, I'll still have a secure job, so the writing feels less fraught than it did pre-tenure. And, though some doubt me when I say this, having a newborn helps here as well. He helps me see time as precious, in so many ways. He helps me remember that we never know what the future holds. After all, I had no idea, a year and a half ago, of what I'd literally be holding in my arms today.

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